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New Ways to Communicate with Loved Ones who Have Cognitive Loss
Added: (Thu Apr 03 2008)
Diana’s mom easily forgot information and became more and more short-tempered when she couldn’t remember things. Diana, a registered nurse and a sought after speaker in the long-term care industry, didn’t know how to have a conversation with her mom anymore. The mom she knew had seemingly disappeared.
Diana Waugh is like millions of adult children who have parents suffering from cognitive loss. Cognitive loss is a condition marked with short-term memory loss and problems making decisions, though many people associate it only with Alzheimer’s disease. She says, “I knew all the ‘correct’ ways to teach people how to talk and interact with their loved ones suffering from this condition, but when it came to my own mother, I was at a loss.” Her personal frustration led her to develop a workbook she could use to help her have more meaningful conversations with her mother.
“I knew my mom was still inside this person who couldn’t really remember details very well. I just had to find new ways to communicate with her,” explains Diana.
Diana took what she knew about the elderly and cognitive loss and combined it with a practical approach to communication. People with cognitive loss are just like the rest of us. They want to feel competent. When conversations can be changed to focus on what these loved ones know and remember, more meaningful conversations ensue.
Diana created a short book based on these ideas and included prompts to help people identify subjects for conversations. In the book, she discusses how loved ones with cognitive loss may have trouble living in our reality, but we can live in theirs. She stresses the importance of avoiding the word ‘no,’ and the question “Don’t you remember?” She then discusses how people can think about the things their parent, friend, aunt, or grandparent used to love to hear, smell, taste, and see. Using these prompts, Diana gives examples on how to change a conversation from confrontational to comforting while allowing both parties to enjoy the memories and time together.
Diana provides multiple examples of effective conversation starters using the phrase, “I was thinking.” This phrase doesn’t challenge the loved one to try and remember anything, it’s simply a neutral way to introduce a topic and invite the loved one to share their thoughts on the subject.
Diana’s book, “I Was Thinking…Unlocking the Door to Successful Conversations with Loved Ones with Cognitive Loss,” is available for download or purchase on her website, www.WaughConsulting.info.